Writers who don't write

Hi, my name is Jo.   And it's been three weeks, five days and nine hours since I last wrote.  I am a writer who doesn't write.

 

There.  I've admitted it.  And like an addict, I probably wasn't even telling the truth about when the last time I wrote was.  My sense is that it's been longer.  I just don't want to know.

Now that I'm older, I've built up an entire warehouse full of what-could-have-been's.  How my life would have turned out if I hadn't done this, taken that call, listened to my instincts, moved to this city…I try not to do it, not only because it's useless and painful, but also because it's unfair.  At the time I made those decisions, I made them with the best information, and as the best; albeit misguided, weak, immature person I could have been back then.

But the one thing I WILL allow is the regret of not writing more.  Because what 18, 28, 38 year old aspiring writer doesn't know that they are supposed to write everyday?  I love writing, and can easily get in the zone when I'm writing free form like this.  But working on a novel, which is more long term?  Writing without an ending by the time I get up from my computer?  I have always had a hard time with that.  Much to my regret and detriment, obviously.  If I could have been discplined enough to write everyday, to commit to writing even when I didn't want to, I KNOW that I wouldn't be struggling today.

 

Do I really think I'm that talented a writer?  No, but I do agree with books like "The Talent Code" that says you will develop mastery over anything you do in a substantive way for ten thousand hours.  Any writer---unless you're F. Scott Fitzgerald---can pick up something they wrote ten, fifteen, years ago and be struck by how much better they are today.  If I can improve when I only wrote intermittently, I'm confident that I would have improved even more if I actually took the whole damn thing seriously.

Which is the point.  I wrote as a hobby.  I wrote blogs, articles, essays---quick one hour projects, in between the big projects like scripts and novels I'd work on twice a year.  I didn't exactly stop writing, ever.  I loved writing too much to do that.  But I was a careless and indifferent lover, to be sure, and I certainly took my writing for granted, always confident it would still be there anytime I wanted to return.

I'm thinking about this now because in a way, writing is no longer a hobby.  I have finally gotten paid for my writing (although the check is still in the mail) and I need to start treating it as if it's a job.  At least, if I want to continue getting checks, let alone aiming for bigger ones.  Which means I have to work even when it isn't fun, when I'm not in the mood, and a whole host of other excuses that I let myself get away with when I don't take my writing seriously.

It's time to start working on the next book.  I'm not sure if it's going to be a sequel to "Fame, Love and other Lessons".  This makes sense, and commerically, I know this is the way to go.  But the story ended with them HEA, and I really don't want to ruin that with some kind of crisis that tears them apart.  So I have to look towards another character; probably Jamie's brother Luke.  Anyway, this is why I need to get started writing.  I've read other writers talk about putting out a sequel within months.  And really, why not?  I've pushed myself to write 1500 words a day, and it's not that hard.  Well, it's hard for me, but on the scale of eight hours doing a job you hate (which I have to remind myself is the alternative) then it's really very easy.